Some things of beauty

1

November 19, 2012 by calvinette

Today’s featured seller is really on the money with the idea of packaging different items together to make it more attractive.

There’s nothing wrong with the picture by itself. It’s the description I find interesting.

A makeup compact that’s been “barely even used, just been dropped a few times”? First of all, “barely” is a bit too vague when describing whether makeup has been used. Ever heard of pink eye? This is exactly how it gets transmitted. So please, please tell us if these cosmetics have so much as been opened and touched with any applicator or grubby little finger in the slightest, because when I have to go to the doctor to get my antibiotics to fight off the tide of matter cascading from my eye sockets, she might want to know if I have any idea who or what I contracted it from. It’s a PUBLIC HEALTH issue, Sierra.

Conjunctivitis aside, tell me — What were you doing those few times when you dropped your makeup? Was this before or after you attempted to prepare some bottles for this little crafty seasonal project? Did you secretly wish your eye makeup was a real iPod and drop it over and over again like everyone does with their real iPods? Next time, get a rubber case for your makeup like everyone else does for their iPods. You’re more likely to fool people into thinking it’s an iPod, and it’ll be safe from your little butterfingers.

Next, could you please tell me what is a “head straightener”? Is this the thing you use after the crimper, when you’ve come to your senses and remembered nobody has used a crimper since 1989?

Or could this be a Freudian slip of some kind? Do you need to get your head straight about something? Do you want to talk about it? I mean, aside from whatever made you choose that green diamond patterned carpet.

If that’s the case, you might want to seek professional help elsewhere besides the Facebook yard sale pages. Because I can attest these people are ten kinds of cray-cray.

Best of luck to you, and kudos for at least not making me go blind with rage by posting a hot mess of a photo, or even just blind from a blurry picture. I’ll take pinkeye over blindness any day.